Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
