We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
