people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
