So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
