that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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