well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
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