youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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