I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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