Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he was CRYING into my vagina
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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