I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
