i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
