Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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