im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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