I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize