that's an acceptable place to lick
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
