cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
