I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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