Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
