You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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