i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
