I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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