I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
