No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
