4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
