i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
