This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
