you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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