I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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