You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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