Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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