If that was your dad, he is hot
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
