i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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