Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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