Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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