Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
