if you like me you must not know who I am
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
