He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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