We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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