officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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