when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
