i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
