2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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