my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
