You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
