Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
