Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
