When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
