Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize