its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
