So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
