Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just had sex on a roof
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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