I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I forget how to act sober
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
