9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
