another moral hangover. fuck.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
