at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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