Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
