I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
