No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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