Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
