Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
