She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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