Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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